"What is love, then, if it is not just giving everything to everyone?"
[This message is part of a series through the book of 1 John, entitled "Salvific Assurance Through Testimony," preached by Pastor Senter].
In our last sermon post, we talked specifically about how we can love one another, brother and sister in Christ, and how that can be evidenced in our lives. We talked of Christian love for one another, Christian obedience to the Lord and with one another, and we talked about how Satan and his demons infect all that is around us, specifically seeking to kill and destroy us. Today we continue somewhat within this train of thought and move toward knowing Christian love a little more completely. We will look at a number of things dealing with love and hate and learn of their relationship one to another in the Christian life.
Please look at 1 John 3:13. I have read historical accounts of soldiers slaying men, women, and children of Bible-believing groups just because they believed the Bible. The Waldensians were trapped in a valley and systematically exterminated by an Army simply because they read the scriptures and believed in them. They were shown no mercy. Man’s depravity does not surprise me, and it should not surprise you.
- It was a bright sunny day in May of 1927. After murdering his wife, a 45-year-old man named Andrew Kehoe drove to a nearby school building. There, he detonated several explosives he had been secretly planting over several months. He then detonated the shrapnel-laden explosives in his vehicle. All together 45 people were murdered. The vast majority were 7 to 12 years of age.
- On another cloudless day in August of 1966, after murdering his wife and his mother, a 25-year-old young man climbed to the top of a 32-story building and shot 45 people, 14 of which died.
- One beautiful morning in April, two young men entered a school building, shot 12 students and a teacher dead, and wounded 23 others. They then promptly took their own lives.
- Yet another wonderful day in April, over the span of three hours, a 23-year-old young man first entered an adjacent dormitory, shot and killed two people. Then, after some preparation, he went to another building where, after he chained doors closed, he shot and killed an additional 30 people.
These are some of the most dreadful events–but, they are only some of them. There was a shooting at a Kentucky High School which killed three. Did you know that there were six school shootings in 2008 alone? In one of those events, six young people were killed. From 1927 until today, there have been 221 killed in over 49 of such incidents. That is just in the United States. There are reports from Israel, Finland, Denmark, Scotland, Canada, Yemen, Philippines, Germany, Australia, Lebanon, and many others. These are all school shootings. These are shocking facts. These facts chill us and we find in them the depravity of man in many ways. The perpetrators of these events are mostly 25 years old or less. Most perpetrators either committed suicide, or planned to, but were stopped from doing so.
Do these events shock you? I could quote gang statistics, murder rates in burroughs in New York, or the crime rate in New Orleans after Katrina. However, the operative question is, Do these events shock you? I submit to you that with a dead soul and nothing to work with or orient oneself to love another, this certainly would not shock you. None of the individuals who perpetrated these crimes knew the Lord–regardless of their claimed stance with Him. There are reports of some of these murderers attending church, or being baptized into the Catholic church. I stand here now to tell you that their souls were dead. They could not know Him, could not love others. Yet, we, Christians, are counted as “dangerous.”
A man who is supposed to be a pastor, when reporting on Mike Huckabee as a presidential candidate, stated, “Christians are more dangerous than the Taliban.” He went further to say, “Christians, Muslims and Jews are, in some ways, the most dangerous people on the planet, and probably Christians being the most dangerous because their fingers are closer to the most nuclear weapons.” Another one of our more “intellectually-endowed” citizens in the entertainment business stated, “Radical Christianity was just as dangerous as Radical Islam.” Ladies and gentlemen, do these comments surprise you? Do you think for a minute that because you have a rosy jovial outlook, that your focus on eternal things, which is proper, produces confidence and love from others at all times? I am here to tell you it scares people at times to think that you are happy and comfortable with whatever may come your way. Think about the fact that “Our possession of eternal life offends, but true Christian love evidences salvation.” Realistically to the unsaved soul, “You think Christianity provides life, happiness, and bliss; but on earth it is only from one brother to another.”
I. Real love is not of this world (verses 13-14)
Let’s consider this “philosophy”: We love our children, and, out of that love, we give them everything they ever want. Because of the love that we have for others, we know that if we give them whatever they want, if we allow them to do whatever they want, if we do not control our children, we know we will be happier and they will be happier. They will learn happiness this way. If they do not learn happiness by being able to do whatever they want, and our not controlling their actions, then we know that they will learn happiness in establishing controls on themselves. This train of thought asserts that children are “smart enough to know what they want.” They know when they are hungry and need to eat, they know what they like to eat too so just give them what they desire. Their bodies will determine what they need, and at the youngest ages, they will naturally know when they need different nutrients. Dogs eat grass on occasion because it helps their digestive system. Equally, infants know when they need to eat healthy foods and when they can eat junk foods like chips and hot dogs. If you really want to love others, then, let them always determine what they want and give them everything you can to support that want. That will produce happiness in you, in them, and for everyone around you. If all people focused upon giving everyone everything they want, the world would be a better place.
What a wonderful, blissful, and utopian philosophy. Give man everything he wants–this is love. But, is this the picture we see here in scripture – to love by giving everyone everything they want, or does scripture teach something completely different? What is love, then, if it is not just giving everything to everyone? The difference is the world teaches tolerance and behavioral acceptance. God teaches us to change ourselves to be like Him, because we are sin-filled-and-focused creatures, after nothing but our own lusts and desires. Further, these personal lusts and desires do not fulfill God’s will, but our own–which is opposed to God’s will.
We must deny our own desires, and teach our children to deny their own desires, in order to serve God. If you cannot submit to parents and authorities you see readily, you will never be able to submit to a God who is invisible. The reasons for this are many; but the philosophy is very simple. The world’s love of permissiveness, promiscuity, and tolerance is not true love. Only God’s way is truly loving.
A. The world does not know love (verse 13a)
The first thing we should do here is to look at love in a biblical fashion. Although there are more, we will look at three words for love “agape”, “phileo”, and “thelo”. You have heard repeatedly from this pulpit that agape love is the love that gives of itself unconditionally. It is this love that is developed from God. It is the love that God is. Agape love never considers what the giver of the love wants; just what is needed by the receiver. We confuse agape love sometimes with mere giving, when the giving is in terms of meeting needs instead of wants. Our Savior is a perfect example of this. The world did not want Him, did not want His salvation–in fact even His own disciples condemned His self-sacrificial pronouncements to the point that the Savior called Peter “Satan” one time. We find this in Matthew 16:23 and Mark 8:33, where Peter was telling Jesus He could not give Himself to the Romans for crucifixion. This love, therefore, is a love that determines needs and provides them, giving of one’s self to do so. The world says, “Give them what they want selflessly, and you will feel better.” God says, “Give them what they need selflessly for My glory.”
Then we have phileo. This is an associative love. This love is based in a relationship, and is not necessarily selfless in orientation, but something that develops over time, or because of a circumstance. We often count this love as an affection we would have one to another simply in association as brothers or sisters in Christ; however, this is not necessarily true. We are to love the relationship (phileo), but we are to love others selflessly (agapã). You give of yourself to people, and you very much enjoy and have great affection for the relationship itself. It is in this relationship that you give selflessly. James 4:4 tells us that friendship with the world places us against God, and whoever wants to befriend the world is an enemy of God. It is a relationship that we should not cultivate.
Last, we look at thelo. This is a desire, a want, or a wish. It is not all inherently bad to desire things; but it is this desire of the heart that drives man to do things he should not do. We find this in Galatians 4:9 where Galatia is cautioned that, after coming to know God, they would turn back to the world and “want” to be enslaved to it. Their affection is turned back to the world and away from God. Thelo also means to like or enjoy – take pleasure. It also connotes a preference based in desire, to have an opinion on something or to have an understanding of something. This is the loose term of desire: a heart-felt want. This is the conveyance of emotion, something that is not necessarily fact, but what is believed to be true because it is what you feel is right. We could use this to translate the phrase “If it feels good, do it” with thelo as the word for “feels.”
Why does the world not know love then? Because we have really only one word that we use too loosely and flippantly to capture the strongest senses of these words, and that is the word, “love.” We do not consider our love to be anything other than affection. We believe it is always something that you feel. God’s love–true selfless love–is not something that is always felt, but is always something that is intellectualized. We need to contemplate denying ourselves and our own desires, pushing down the will or desire, grasping the relationship and giving love.
True godly love then is born from Him, oriented toward pleasing Him, and focused upon Him. This love is unknown to the world. Because the world does not know, is incapable of understanding, and cannot fathom this love. They also have no appreciation for it.
B. Serving God is unappreciated (verse 13b)
From comments stating that submitted, obedient, and loving Christians are more dangerous than people who strap bombs to themselves and murder hundreds and thousands, to just calling us “stupid”–the world, which is controlled by the prince of the power of the air, hates us. You have to get past the notion that people are just plain going to be mean to you because you have a testimony. Yes, BECAUSE you have a testimony. Hearkening back to our theme, “Salvific Assurance Through Testimony,” we have to face the fact that it is our being different, our being like a “goody two shoes”–our desire to love others–that makes us detestable. That may sound strange; however consider the bully at school. Unless you are tough and you stand up to him, he will continue to pick on you, mess with you, and hurt you if he or she has a chance. The world is no different to the true Christian. The world–in other words, all those who hate God–will hate you. They may claim Christ as their Savior; however, their testimony is one of hate. Further, the hate, the ridicule, the scoffing, the gossip is aimed at God, not you. Unfortunately, you are just the one who is available to receive it. They cannot hate God, because “if there is one,” it might offend Him.
Be prepared to understand and comprehend the fact that there may not be a single person outside of this building that you can receive love from. Some among you, in fact, do not know how to give true love. Because they see true love as something they can give, they have no idea where love comes from or what is involved with love.
C. The world is the domain of Satan (verse 14)
We have learned that there are a few words that represent death in Greek. One is mainly used and deals with bodily death. The other is mainly used and deals with spiritual death. We have also noted that there are different words depicting life. There are words that reflect a spiritual life, words that reflect physical life, and words that reflect a quality of existence, a practice of life. We also looked at the words John is using for know and knowledge. In his arguments against Gnosticism, he has juxtaposed the “book knowledge” against that which is spiritually driven. This is not–and never has been–to say that intellectual knowledge is not needed, or, for that matter, completely necessary. Only that it is not the way to Christ. Knowing Him intellectually is not believing in Him. Here in this passage, we have a number of things that come together, and we will do a “Pastor Tim’s translation” in order to illustrate this. Read verse 14 with me now: “We know (oida) that we have passed out of spiritual death (thanatos) into a way of life because we love (agape) the brothers. Whomever is not loving (agape), he is abiding (meno) in spiritual death (thanato). Yes, here again is our word for abiding, remaining, staying, steadfast existence.
This scripture makes plain that those who have accepted Christ as their Savior, whose spirits therefore have been enlivened by Him, given new life through Him, and born again with Him–they live. Those for whom these things are not true, are spiritually dead and exist, remain, stay and are steadfast in this lost condition of spiritual death. Ladies and gentlemen, if you do not know Christ, you cannot live. If you are not alive, you cannot love, if you cannot love, you hate those who love, if you hate those who truly love, you hate God. This is Paul’s argument in Romans 6:4 where we find the Christian buried with Christ in baptism to spiritual death (thanatos) and raised again to walk in newness of life. Without truly knowing Christ, your spirit is dead, what you want is paramount, what you can get is important, your focus is on making yourself happy, and giving selflessly is beyond you because your spirit is dead.
Ask yourself these questions: Do you love the way God loves, or do you love the way the world loves? Do you seek God’s word to teach you how to love? On the other hand, do you seek the latest and greatest new psychological study or book by some renowned doctor who studies behaviors to determine how to love? If you are not seeking God’s word for all your instruction, you are not capable of knowing (oida) love (agape). Our lives should be marked by a desire to be with and have a love for Christians. Do you find yourself seeking the lost for comfort rather than the love of a real brother in Christ?
What then is the world’s love if it is not love as the Bible describes it?
II. The world’s love is murder (verse 15)
In our study last week, we learned that the world’s way or Satan’s way of giving to others, their so called love, actually results in killing the individual spiritually. Giving people anything they ask for, regardless of needs, destroys the spirit of individuals by generating false needs which are covetous. You do not have to kill physically to murder. However the word used here in the text is “manslayer.” This word is a compound word made from the word for “man” and the word for “to kill.” This word has the connotation of slaughtering animals, to slay. This is an active event. Everyone who is hating (present active) his brother is a murderer. This is what Cain did to Abel. He hated him, this hate resulted in murder. This hate boils in people, it is in their hearts and souls. This is a hate born of the world, it is born of the one who was a murder from the beginning. The scripture says that you know (oida) that everyone who is a murderer, who slanders, who demeans, who verbally decapitates you cannot have eternal life existing (menõ) in them.
This hate is a participle. It has a point of origin (birth, for man) and it just continues. This is an ongoing event. When you point specifically to someone’s faults in a hateful, accusing, and derogatory manner in order to get others to change to what you want, you are slandering people. This form of hate depicts something that you dislike strongly; it results in an aversion, hostility toward someone. If you cannot lash out physically, it normally manifests itself verbally. It is used regularly in idioms such as “murdering words,” or “if looks could kill.” Ladies and gentlemen, whenever you display a hateful disposition or an attitude that is flippant and does not care, you are using this form of slander.
A very frequent term thrown about today is the term “whatever.” Admittedly, my wife and I play with this term with one another. I tease her and she retorts with the “whatever” comment. However, if we actually did this, practiced this flippant response, responded indifferently to the needs of another, or just excused their honest concerns in this fashion, we could be guilty of hating someone. This hate, this attitude, this disrespect toward another leads to a road of covetousness. Covetousness leads to jealousy. Jealousy leads to intense desire. Intense desire leads to an activity that results in murder. This is how we find Cain killing Abel. His attitude was such that God should take what he offered. If God did not want it, well, “whatever.” When Cain realized that God favored Abel, then he coveted this position for himself. When God told Cain he could bring himself back to a position of honor in the proper way, Cain was jealous about having to work at something when he had already given of his best for the position. Instead of just receiving it as Abel did, Cain had worked for the sacrifice he had given. Abel just had to watch the animals grow. Cain had to keep the weeds out of his field. Cain thought then that all he wanted was this favored status. If Abel were gone from the picture, then no one else would be there to be favored. Surely, God would have to favor Cain then. This is an extra-biblical paraphrase–we understand that this emotive thought process is not exactly articulated in the account in Genesis. However, we do know that Cain hated Abel. All of these things are connected and flow from one to another. God knows this, and this is why His commandment holds that we not covet another’s possessions.
We are to love one another. In this way, we cut off hate that leads to covetousness. We are to love others as we love ourselves. In this way we cut off covetousness– by recognizing we would like to have others leave us and our possessions alone, while we also know we would like our needs cared for–even so, we care for other’s needs.
We are to esteem others higher than ourselves. In this way we cut off the jealously. We know our hearts are desperately wicked. In this self-recognition and correlation, we can cut off the self-desire we have. In this, we also know that denying our self certain things is healthy and good for us.
We also know that if we love others as we love our selves, we need someone once and a while to discipline us. We can be horribly selfish and when someone truly loves us, they do not give us everything we want because it feeds our selfish nature. The recognition of dependence upon others produces humility.
In humility, there is submission to the knowledge that we cannot achieve perfection of self by ourselves because this perfection is based in our own self-awareness. The totality of perfection is far beyond anything we can imagine, let alone actually realize.
This submission then leads to salvation. Someone submitting to a superior being, one to provide eternal things, one who is a creator of all things, begins the process by which a heart is turned to the Savior. This submission results in recognition that we individually are not the center of the universe. This self-centered attitude is dispelled at this point. This world is limited in scope; land mass, area, space, time, and ability to provide us what we need to be happy, and content. It does not provide life, it simply provides the elements to sustain physical existence. That means something outside this world is required to produce these things, as well as a true livelihood beyond it. this submission then results in a recognition that we individually are not the center of the universe. This self centered attitude is dispelled at this point. This submission, therefore, fosters a yearning to learn of a true salvation, a true freedom, and a true existence outside our own limited life.
How, then, do you approach hate? Is it something that you keep, that you hold, that manifests itself in you in any number of ways? Alternatively, is it something that you know you have and you are submitted to God in order to rid your heart of it? If you are the former, you do not know Christ. If you never seek His word for guidance, if you never seek His counsel to rid yourself of hate, if you do not think you have hate in you–you are as lost as all the individuals in my opening illustrations, whether you think you are or not.
We have spent a lot of time talking about hate and how hate manifests itself into murder. However, what about the other side of the scales. What is love then? How is it depicted?
III. God’s love results in action (verse 16)
Quickly read through Ephesians 2:4-7. Laying down your life for one another. We know that this has been an actuality at times for Christians, but it has been equally a reality for individuals that are unsaved. I do not know about you, but I have often wondered what marked the difference between what happens in reality, and what the scriptures are telling us. Does this literally mean that we have the love of God in us, if we give our literal life for another? In other words, if in war a soldier gave him or herself for another–is that person saved? Do they in some way have the love of God in them? Are these individuals counted righteous in some way? How about the policeman or firefighter who gives their life for another selflessly when they have had a horrid and despicable testimony all their life–do we consider them to have had the love of God in them? I know that these questions puzzle you. I know that these things nag at you just as they do anyone who reads scriptures and attempts to implement God’s word in their lives. The individuals at this level are bent toward a self-sacrificial attitude . Every soldier, policeman, or fireman wants to believe in their heart that they will make that ultimate sacrifice for one another if the time comes; but he really does not know. With Christ, this ability is provided. Christ empowers us to this service through the same love He has. What does this scripture truly say, when we look at the passage and what we have learned of love? Here in this verse we find three things that help us understand the love of Christ better.
When we read scripture, we must temper scripture with other scripture and ask our questions of individuals who can give further technical insight where warranted.
First, besides the fact that giving of yourself takes place, it is something that is actually intellectually known.
A. It is Known
Once again we return to the discussion of head and heart knowledge. The term used here by the Apostle is of the head knowledge. You find the word “know” here translated “perceive.” You can actually, intellectually know that this is love. You are, therefore, not operating on some heart-felt feeling alone, though John has made the point that spiritual discernment is required. This is testimony that we not only know Christ spiritually, but He expects us to know Him intellectually as well. All of scripture is instructive (2 Tim 3:16). However, some scriptures strike deep continually. There are specific scriptures that provide understanding upon which much can be understood. One of those is found in all three gospels. In Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30, and Luke 10:27, we find that we are to love our Lord with all our heart, all our soul, and our entire mind. It is therefore in this that we can come to know love – here we find the selfless, perfect love of God.
Another of these scriptures is John 14:15 which I have mentioned before: “If you love (agape) you will keep my commandments.” An operative question then is, How can you keep these commandments if you do not know them? If you do not know His word, you cannot keep what is in them. Do you, therefore, read your Bible? If you do not, you simply do not love Him, His word is not in you, and you do not know the truth of love.
Do you know, intellectually, Christ Jesus? Do you really know Him?
We have a perfect One to follow, a perfect pattern for knowledge, Jesus Christ.
B. Christ is the Example
Knowing can only come after you have received Him as your Savior. Knowing God can only be realized after you submit yourself to needing Him. Salvation, therefore, is the beginning of knowledge. Knowing what Christ did for you–to what extent God went to provide for your salvation–this is the beginning of true knowledge. Christ, therefore, becomes the opening pattern for knowing love. His love, His sacrifice, His beginning, His devotion, His selfless giving is the pattern for true Love.
Do you know Christ and what His sacrifice provided, how it was provided, what was given for its provision, and what He gave up for you?
Once true realization hits, there is nothing else to do but submit.
C. Placing yourself beneath
Putting your life on the line. This is literally what is spoken of here, and in John 15:13 we find scripture calling for us to put our lives down, place ourselves below others in need. We are specifically to put ourselves, our desires, our passions, and our inner selfish lusts beneath the needs of others. The word used in scripture here is not life as in breathing and existing physical life. This is an inner soul, an inner self, our inner desires, and our heart-felt wants. It is the word that is also translated “soul” in scriptures. This is our real personal self – the part of us that desires only for us – the wicked in us that is directly focused on what we want. Ladies and gentlemen, these scriptures do not teach a physical life out of love, but a sacrificial giving of self, a sacrificial giving of your inner being for others – especially the brothers and sisters in Christ around you. In Psalm 51:17, we find that this pleases God when we read that a broken and contrite heart (soul, spirit) is our true sacrifice to God. This, a will bent to His desires, is the life you give.
Have you given your will over to God for His glory? Have you sacrificed your will toward others for God?
Scripture is therefore clear. We are to give up our will, our personal wants, our desires so others may be blessed.
We have looked at what real love is, compared to the love of the world. We have examined how the world loves and what it expects love is– and how unappreciated, therefore, serving God is, because man considers self-sacrifice to be contemptible. We looked at the false view of love in the world being driven by Satan. We looked closely at the chain of events that brings about murder in verse 15. Finally, we studied the results of loving action. We see that we can intellectually know godly love–that it is by the example Christ set for us, and, that it is, as we see in His example, placing ourselves beneath others. This sacrifice of self is the image of Christ and His sacrifice for us.
The question, therefore, is: “Where are you?” Do you seek to give your own desires, your own will over to serve others? When you are tempted to “go along to get along,” do you lean on the fact that Christ never did this, yet loved and gave Himself out of true love. Do you really know love? If we can help you answer these questions, we’d love to have the opportunity.
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